Shortstack Stranglers

The Shortstack Stranglers, commonly called the Stranglers, are the largest and the least organised mercenary guild in the city of Vansreik. The guild is run by the infamous thief Turnip Bellwater, and its members are known for causing more mischief than anyone else in the city. Its ranks are full of thieves, burglars and blackmailers.¹

History

In his youth Turnip, a halfling of Bellwater, founded the Shortstack gang with the help of his hundreds of relatives: a band of halflings who sold “security” to establishments in the surrounding settlements. The gang grew and outmatched its rivals, but Turnip wanted to rule something bigger. When he turned thirty he moved to Vansreik with his twenty most trusted men, and they built the inn Halfling is Your Mother. Turnip then called in favours and used most of the blackmail material he had gathered over the years to obtain a licence for a mercenary guild.²

The guild, then called the Shortstacks, was made up mostly of misfit halflings from the city, until its very first Deep Pit mission. Turnip and six of his cousins went down into the pit, found an undiscovered section of the old city of Mortenox and filled their bags with art, gold, silver and tomes. They also came upon a heavily armed dark elven caravan carrying magic items, and when they attacked it they found themselves facing a noble dark elven high priestess who called on the forces of the Abyss. Turnip charged her with two of his cousins; she banished one and burned the other with hellfire, but Turnip reached her, leapt on her back and strangled her with his wire. With the priestess dead, the dark elves fled.²

The halflings returned to Vansreik with their plunder, known from then on as the Shortstack Stranglers. The feat brought them praise and fame; they opened their doors to other races and became a successful mercenary guild. To this day Turnip retells the story to anyone who will listen, especially before a Deep Pit mission.²

Business

The guild operates from the tavern Halfling is Your Mother, which is also the second-largest potion shop in Vansreik. The Stranglers hail from Bellwater, a town renowned for its potions and remedies, and Turnip, a celebrity among Bellwaterians, has secured many lucrative deals with the locals. He also holds more tickets into the Deep Pit than anyone else and means to make the most of them.¹

The guild’s main business, however, is selling information. Owning most of the taverns, inns and brothels in Vansreik gives it access to the deepest secrets of the city.¹

The tavern is also the meeting place of The Grand Table, where the heads of the three main mercenary guilds, Turnip, Jogard Di and Donald Whent, meet once every two months.¹

Ways of the guild

The Stranglers are full of people who want a steady profit over a long career. Because its members are mostly rational people, the guild has the lowest death rate of the three main guilds: Stranglers know when to run from a dire situation, and they have each other’s backs. Turnip and his family are at the core of the guild, and he regards its senior members as family too, whatever their race or upbringing. Every Strangler is a survivor, passionate or charming.¹

Members

The guild’s roster includes Turnip Bellwater, Cherrybell Bellwater, Jinnaxius Eidrein, “Jinxy”, Shaila Bellwater, Frederick Sweetmead, Gorthak Tuskcarver, Alveir Greenblade, Chestnutt Oakberry, Saphir, Wanguff Volter, Hector Mc’raa and Golbert Brownbutter.³

• Cherrybell, Turnip’s once-removed cousin, is the guild’s second-in-command, a skilled conjurer whose magic gives the Stranglers great mobility on missions; she also makes conjuration scrolls for her fellow members.⁴
• Jinxy, Turnip’s nephew, is held to be the finest swordsman in the guild and remains one of its most active members.⁵
• Frederick Sweetmead, a famous bard from Bellwater, is the guild’s chief recruiter; it was he who offered Gorthak Tuskcarver a place. Gorthak, a giant of seven feet who towers over the other Stranglers, joined without hesitation and came to see the guild as a new family he means never to lose.⁶
• Shaila left her dull life in Bellwater to join; Turnip was reluctant to take her in until Jinxy and Cherrybell talked him round.⁷
• Alveir Greenblade joined out of resentment, Chestnutt Oakberry to earn extra coin and live out his dreams of vigilantism, and Saphir after days of arguing. Volter is the newest member.⁸

Spoiler: The guild’s part in the guild warRevealSpoils: Mercenary Compendium · Say what you have read

The war between the Eagle Brigade and the Warmongers was not started by an Eagle, as the Warmongers believe. The first attack was arranged by a member of the Shortstack Stranglers, who framed the Eagle Brigade for it.⁹

Turnip is making a risky play: he is tricking the two guilds into fighting each other so that he can make a great profit from their war, and he works constantly to keep the truth from spreading. The Wing of The Black Veil has uncovered the plan, but keeps silent as long as a substantial bribe keeps coming.¹⁰